There is No Tessa Gray
by her0ngray
Summary: In which Tessa has a nightmare. A nightmare of her biggest fear. {Cover image owned by *palnk on deviantart}


Tessa woke up with a start. Next thing she knew the world had turned black and her head was spinning. Tessa lowered herself back onto the bed with a slow closed her eyes and breathed using full use of her lungs without too much moving of her chest. After a few minutes her heartbeat had stopped erratically and she felt herself calm. After a while she testily opened her eyes and stared straight above her. The sight was still the same yet the familiarity of it all made her even more at piece. It was the usual. The ceiling with a few dark spots just in the corner where she imagines there might have been a leak one. The minimal cracks just on the edge. Tessa slowly turned her head towards the closed window. It was emitting a few rays of orange morning light. With a sigh Tessa lifted herself up, carefully, slowly, so that she was leaning against the headboard of her bed.

_It was just a dream_ Tessa thought to herself. The same one as always, yet alas, not real. In the dream it was the same as it always was. Tessa herself was there at the start. She looked otherworldly- beautiful, innocent and almost angelic- in a stunning white wedding gown. Her hair lay in front of her shoulders in delicate precise curls with a few pieces from the top of her head were pinned back to the back of her head with pearl accessories. She looked different from usual but the Dream Tessa still looked alike to her.

She was walking down an isle and the view was head on. In her hand lay a bouquet of blood red roses. The first time Tessa had seen the dream she would have thought it was just that. A dream. In which she was going to get married to Jem. But now she knew better. Now she knew what to expect from the nightmare that danced along in her head most nights. The music stopped when she ended her slow walk down the centre of the church. She turned to face her soon to be husband.

Dream Tessa was greeted by the sinister smirk of the magister himself. She vaguely heard the priest utter the words "Do you Theresa Gray, take Axel Mortmain to be united as one in marriage."

Her eyes widened and so did her mouth. She was going to say no. To demand what was happening when she realised she couldn't talk. Dream Tessa didn't know why. Mortmain laughed. Tessa's gaze snapped to meet his.

"Would you please repeat the question- though a little bit louder for our loving guests joining us here on this absolutely wonderful day." She tilted a little bit back from the sound of his voice

"Do you Theresa Gray-"

"Sorry I didn't point out before" Mortmain inturupted only looking at Tessa. "This… Thing's name isn't Theresa Gray- you see. There is no Tessa Gray."

_There is no Tessa Gray_

_There is no Tessa Gray_

_There is no Tessa Gray_

The words reverberated in Tessa's mind as the view in the nightmare went on her face. Which was changing. She wasn't Tessa anymore. She was another person. Another face. Another soul. Because as the Magister had said. There was no Tessa Gray.

That was always the time Tessa woke up. The first time she -shamefully remembered that she- had cried. Now she was used to it but it still didn't calm her down. Taking a shaky breath Tessa slipped out of her bead and stood up. She held onto the banner for support. She hadn't stood in-most likely- 9 hours. Her legs were a little shaky. After a few seconds she walked towards the mirror.

Brown hair. Check. Grey eyes with a slight tinge of blue. Check. Everything seemed the same. With a sigh of relief Tessa slumped back onto the bed. Nothing had changed.

That was her biggest, secret, fear that nobody knew about though… Tessa was scared of not being her.

* * *

AUTHORS NOTE: hey, so first off I did this in 20 minutes for something in a role play I was participating in:) sorry of I got stuff wrong :(

also for all of those who have read my other story "the prophecy" yeah 56 days of not updating may be a bit... Off, but I do promise I'm working on it but I have made myself proofread and just generally make sure that the story itself wasn't crap. Like the first chapter was all over the place and even I, the author, did not know what was Happening. So that probably isn't the best inclination towards the state of the writing:/

Hopefully you guys enjoyed this one-shot, I have always seen Tessa having to do this and just being overwhelmed. And... Uhh... Not to sound desperate but reviews are definitely welcomed :D


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